What follows is the message I gave as the officiating pastor at my son's recent wedding. I received so many positive comments on this short homily that I thought it'd be a good blog post.
Though our present culture denigrates and even at times despises the notion of human marriage, the Bible reveals to us that it is in fact part of the fabric of creation; that it is of the very essence of what it means to human; and is ultimately, and most gloriously, a representation of that relationship between Christ and His Church.
The book of Genesis tells us that “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth” Gen.1:1, the account of which unfolds over the space of a week. On the sixth day we read of God saying, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness… So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply…’” Genesis 1:27-28.
From this high altitude view of things in ch.1, we are given a ground level, intimate account of the same in ch.2. We read there (v.8) “Now the LORD God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed… 15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.” Genesis 2:15.
We may be misled by these words to think of Adam as nothing but a glorified gardener or grounds keeper. But that would be to miss what is both clearer and more profound in the original language. The Hebrew words translated “work it” and “take care of it” are found together in only one other context. And that is in describing the work of the priests in the tabernacle and later the temple of God.
We therefore need to see Adam – indeed all men – not simply as a human creature but as the highest of the creatures. And that, not only because he bears God’s image but because his purpose is to be a priest upon the earth. That is, he is to mediate to all creation the glory of God whose image he bears and, in turn, as mediator he is to represent creation before the living God. This, Nathan, is your purpose in life – to be a priest of God, mediating the goodness of His name to all the world.
But there’s a temporary hold on this as God again looks and says, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him,” Genesis 2:18. Man cannot be the image of God, he cannot mediate the glory of God to the world alone; and so a special one is designed for him specifically to be “a [suitable] helper.”
In contrast to the animals who were made of the earth, we read of the woman’s creation “So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man.’” Genesis 2:21-23.
Part of God’s design for them is that they dwell together in a specific relationship, namely, that they be joined together in marriage. Which is why we read next “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh,” Genesis 2:24.
That then, is the profoundly significant purpose and design behind marriage. It is a union as ancient as creation itself; a union that is part of the very fabric of what it means to be human; a union ordained by God for the achievement of our highest good as God’s image bearer.
Under God, the woman is man’s greatest good. All through the creation account God looked at what He made, blessed it and called it good. He saw the Man’s singleness and said “Not good” and proceeded to make the woman. It’s then that the blessing Very Good is given. Nothing else in all creation will address a man’s aloneness and enable him to achieve his purpose in life – only the woman. She is his highest earthly good. Nate, you will not find your life’s good in hobbies, possessions, or any other thing of this world. Rather, under God, you will find your greatest good in Loretta.
Therefore, I charge you, before God, in Whose holy presence we stand tonight, and these witnesses to cherish Loretta, to nurture your marriage to her; to remain always faithful to her. In difficulties I charge you to seek the godly wisdom of your parents and of the Church through whose prayers and help you will find support. Do you pledge yourself, Nathan, to so devote yourself to her? If so say, “I do so pledge.”
What about the woman? Did you notice that she is, by the design of God, “for the man” – to be a helper to him – to be with him as a remedy for his aloneness in the great task of mediating the glory of God to all creation. Loretta, under God, you are not an independent person, but are “for Nate” – you are not to be “for yourself” – neither is he “for you”. Your highest good, fulfillment and joy in this life – under God – will be in being “for him” as a suitable helper.
Therefore, I charge you, before God, in Whose holy presence we stand tonight, and these witnesses to cherish Nathan, to help him in what God calls him to be; to remain always faithful to him. In difficulties I charge you to seek the godly wisdom of your parents and of the Church through whose prayers and help you will find support. Do you pledge yourself, Loretta, to so devote yourself to him? If so say, “I do so pledge.”
